My childhood...

After sawing Cindy's blog, know tt she try to start childhood story, I tag along...
Here goes my Story....

Since young, dun have a complete family... Have a brother... My mum is the one bringing up the both of us... My father left us when i was young i think primary one... Dun really have impression with him... Since young, i know i am different from others for i dun have father... I still remember.. When i was pri 3, i was in trouble in maths lesson... Tt teacher at first wanna see my mum... So i say fine i 'll call her... I dun remember wat's the matter regarding, jus remember tt i wasn't in wrong tt teacher look for my trouble... Therefore i talk in the haughty way... Seeing my reaction, he says :" oh i think get ur dad to see me "... Upon hearing it... I say aloud: " i dun HAVE A FATHER" The whole class hear our conversation when he repeated my sentenced... Classmates started to mock at me... Some guys started to laugh aloud:" SHe DUN have a father"... I really wanna cry... Is it my fault for not having a father? Tt time i sobbed and complained to my mum... I ahte her at tt time... I know i was like sprinkling salt on her wounds... But.. Kids heart are fragile... My mum suffered a lot all these years i know... I wun blame her if she wanna to remarry...( She asked me this question when we have a small conversation about will i be angry if she re-marry) I felt my brother and i were a burden to her, wasting her youth...
I struggle from ppl's comments since young therefore i nv had confidence on myself... Next stage is my Secondary life... I was Fat.. I mean very fat 82kg at tt time... I cant even believe it haha... Normally love life started in secondary... Well i nv felt being loved before... Jus be'cos i am fat... I cant even raise up my head n walk past my admirer... IRC started at tt time... I mean i started playing la... Its be'cos i hope opp. sex cant get to see me n mock at me... I get to know "Him"... I lied to him about my figure/weight i still remember... I ought to be ashamed of myself.. I think tt tts the only way to realise being love... IN the end, it was jus like a dream after he realise tt I AM FAT... HE left me... I thought i am strong enough to play with relationships... But i am wrong i was actrually more fragile then any1 else... After broke up, i smoke, i drink, and i cut myself using penknife Craving my flesh with his name on my left hand... I feel no pain... I din even dare to tell my friend tt i din meet him before cos i tell all my friend tt i got a bf.... They was" HUA YI" me for really having a BF... I lied for the sake to hide my uglyliness tt no1 wants me jus be'cos i am FAT.... I was "rebelliance" (erm did i spell it right), hurt my mum heart again... I swear not to LOVE Again... At tt time... My friend and i got a "logo" or pharse in mouth..." ALL MEN SUCKS"... I had total disappointment in LOVE, MArriage... Since dunno when i think sec3 ba.... Finally got slim down... HAha all men was like "flies" to me... Surround with men... HAHA.. Started another relationship but with no feeling la... Ended about 10th mth... Then close to 2004, started another one thot can last this time... But i think also ending soon la.... I cant stand a men for being so proud and look like an idiot to slap on my face.... I wun forgive him.... I really wanna to be nun le.... Once again to all the men out there.........
YOU SUCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!